What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
