Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
