For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Randomize
