Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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