He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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