I wish I could punch you in the face.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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