good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize