so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
