please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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