I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
