So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
