Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize