she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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