Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
