No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
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