If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
