It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
