Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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