He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
