I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
