But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
