Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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