Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize