My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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