I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
