The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
farters have to be the big spoon...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
