my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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