First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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