I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
