just tell him i said nine months
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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