Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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