i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
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