what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i think im in europe. pls send help
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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