I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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