is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
