Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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