he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
