I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
