im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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