Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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