She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
