so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
