goodnight i made you a song goodbye
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize