i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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