If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
