So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
