I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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