But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
lets start a swedish sibling band together
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
