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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  and the officer said have you been drinking

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  and i said NOO SIR.

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  and he said, I am a woman.

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• (951): View more from California

  Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?

  (949): View more from California

  Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.

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• (607): View more from New York

  I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Whoa, Gary Coleman died

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Whatchu talkin bout?!?!

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Too soon.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.

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• (914): View more from New York

  Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.

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