if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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