i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
