We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
