I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
