lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
