I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
