How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
