Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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