Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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