**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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