I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
