Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
