I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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