My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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