I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
