I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize