even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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