He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
